We are big on giving Mr. Mister choices. Having a choice really empowers kids to take ownership of their decisions, rather than just being controlled by the big authority figure of mom or dad. Not that we at all question our authority as parents, but we also know that God gives us the freedom to make good and bad choices and doesn't force us to be obedient. Chosen obedience is sweeter and more authentic and life giving than forced obedience.
The secret to giving choices is to always being okay with both options!. The most common one we give him is "Easy way or hard way?" That mostly applies to changing his diaper, getting in the car seat, etc. He can do it himself the easy way or we do it the hard way, which is never fun for anyone. He's really starting to make progress in seeing that choosing the easy way is much better!
Another choice we have given him recently has to do with his whining. Instead of just saying, "Stop whining," we say something along the lines of "If you need to keep whining, please go in the other room. When you're ready to be happy, come on back in."
So today, when he was getting upset after we told him he couldn't have more of something to eat, he told us, "I want to go whine in the family room." And he walked himself in there and came back less than a minute later saying, "I'm happy now!"
It was such a small but significant victory! He was really taking responsibility for his own decisions and he made a good choice. We showered him with hugs and kisses and let him know how proud of him we were.
1 comment:
That is excellent and so very wise - on both parent's & child's part! We'll have to use that with Evan.
Post a Comment