I'm excited to share the story of how this beautiful girl entered the world. I have so many thoughts and don't really know how to write them all or what all to share so I will just start writing and hope it is communicated well.
My biggest prayer going into this birth was that I would experience the Lord through it. I had decided early on that I wanted a natural birth and was praying that through a very real experience of the pains of childbirth I would experience in a very real and personal way His grace and love that overcame the curse of sin. I kept one verse in my mind throughout my labor:
Hebrews 12:2
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
This resonated so much in my heart - that Jesus endured pain on the cross that was one million times that pain I was enduring in order to put an end to the sin that caused the pain of childbirth in the first place (Genesis 3:16). And not only did He endure it, He conquered it and was glorified at the right hand of the throne of God. So I recognized that the pain I was enduring was such a tiny glimpse of the pain my sin caused Him, but as I experienced that pain, I REJOICED in the fact that I was not condemned to this pain. Through every contraction, I visualized Jesus on the cross and then exalted and glorified over my pain.
My contractions started early in the morning on Wednesday, February 15th, her due date! My mom came over to get the boys, which was so helpful because Mr. Newton was screaming all morning and was adding a lot of stress to the pain of the contractions. Once they left, we hung out a little longer until we called my friend and doula, Megan, over. At that point, my contractions were still pretty inconsistent, but hovering around 10 minutes apart. So we folded laundry and emptied the dishwasher and hung out a little, just waiting.
All of a sudden, they went from 10 minutes apart to 3 minutes. At that point, I decided we should go to the hospital because we had to drive downtown and I didn't want to be stressed by cutting it too close. (I'm glad I didn't know in the moment how close we were cutting it already!). Once we got to the hospital, we walked around more outside because it was a beautiful day. Then spent some time in the lobby. This whole time I felt really good. It was definitely painful, but manageable and in between contractions I felt great.
Finally, I decided to just go check in and see how far dilated I was. When we got to the desk to check in, the woman said, "Can I help you?" I thought that was hilarious. I said, "Um yes, I am here to have a baby." Wasn't that obvious???
They took me back to triage and I was fully dilated at 10 cm!! I was expecting maybe 8 but was so excited that I was already ready to go! They rushed me to a room so fast that my husband could hardly keep up. About 30 minutes later, Miss S was born! When they told me it was a girl, I could hardly believe it. It was such a sweet moment for my husband and I when we realized we had a daughter. I honestly would have rejoiced in a boy as well, but I felt like this was such a sweet gift to me for a lot of reasons that would be a whole other blog post.
I can't really explain how amazing the birth was. I just know that I did in fact experience the Lord's love and goodness throughout the whole thing. Afterwards, I was so emotionally charged about the whole experience. I couldn't believe I did it. I couldn't believe that giving birth could be such an amazing experience both physically and spiritually. I loved that I could feel every part of it, so aware of what was happening and so in tune with the incredible process that childbirth is. I have said this before but I just can't imagine going through the birth of a child and not seeing a Creator behind it all. I am still blown away by thinking about it.
In addition to overall experiencing God through this, there were so many little but specific ways He blessed me though the process and made me feel so loved:
- I prayed for little pain or the strength to endure the pain - it was incredibly more manageable than I ever thought it could be. I guess that's why I barely made it there in time!
- I prayed that the baby wouldn't come late because they wanted to induce at 41 weeks and I would not do that and didn't want to have to fight it - She came on her due date!
- I prayed that there wouldn't be snow - it was 40 degrees and sunny
- I prayed that it wouldn't be during rush hour b/c we had to go downtown - it was 11:00am
- I prayed that the doctors and nurses would be supportive of my natural birth - they were totally supportive and let me do whatever I wanted (not just their normal hospital procedures)
My husband was also amazing throughout the process. He is so encouraging, so loving, and when he said I was doing great and could keep going, I believed him. He knew just how to support and encourage me without being overbearing. I felt so loved by him and so thankful for him!
I also was thankful for my friend and doula, Megan. She helped prepare us for this birth so that through it I felt confident and excited. She was calming and supportive and I was grateful for her to be a part of this experience. You can read her reflections on my birth here on her blog. She included a funny story about my husband that I left out. Check it out.
And our parents are pretty amazing too. They were so helpful with our boys so that we could spend 2 nights at the hotel, I mean hospital. The doctors asked us if we wanted to go home the next day but with grandparents watching our kids and the nurses taking Miss S to the nursery at night, we couldn't pass up the peace of our hospital room. Sounds funny, but it's true! We had such great bonding time together with our girl before entering back to the real world of boys and noise!
Okay I'll end it here. More posts to come!
