My Spirited Extrovert

I once read or heard somewhere that parents should study their children.  We need to be intentional in seeking out to know who they are more deeply than what we see at first glance.  Knowing them builds our relationship with them and connection with our kids is central to loving and parenting them well.  Obviously, I fail at this daily but studying my boys is something I am attempting to become more intentional at doing.

So I am reading this book called Raising Your Spirited Child, which I am so thankful that a friend recommended.  Her son and Mr. Mister are very much alike (at least from what I read on her blog - she lives too far away in beautiful Oregon!).

I will definitely be posting more on this book later because it has been tremendously insightful for me.  Some of you have probably heard me talk about it enough already!  But it is so exciting to me to read a book and think, Did you know Mr. Mister when you were writing this?  Because I have read (or at least started) a lot of other parenting books and as I've tried to implement what they say, I've been left feeling like a failure, discouraged because nothing works how it seems it should.

But that's because I'm learning that my treasured little boy needs something different than 90% of other kids and 90% of what other parenting books offer.  (I completely made up those percentages by the way).  The subtitle of the book is A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic.  And that he is!!



I will spare you from every insight I've gained from this book so far.  But I wanted to share one and a funny story to go with it.  The author provided a checklist to evaluate if your child is an introvert or an extrovert.  Mr. Mister fit every single qualification of an extrovert and not surprisingly, I fit almost every description of an introvert (more insight for another day).  I have always seen that he gains energy from being around people but I didn't realize to what extent and how that impacts our relationship.

Anyway, we were playing outside one day soon after I had read this.  A group of about 4 adults were out for a walk and as they approached, Mr. Mister yelled as he was already running toward them, "COME ON MOM! LET'S GO MEET SOME NEW PEOPLE!"

And there you have it.  If that doesn't describe an extrovert, I don't know what does.  And I laughed as I realized that in the same circumstance, my reaction is to hide and hope I don't have to strike up a conversation with people I don't know.

So there is one little step of my journey in understanding my spirited child, embracing his intensity and learning how to guide him in it instead of trying to quench it or change who he is.