Embracing the Adventure

I read this post today on the Mothers of Boys blog that I love.  It was perfect timing.  I was feeling worn out this morning by all the banging on the drums, loud "singing," playing hockey in the kitchen while I was trying to clean up, endless questions, the distracted focus when I was giving directions, etc.  I was trying hard to see past the circumstances and treasure this time at home with my boys and everything it entails.  But was just hard and I think it's okay to be real about that sometimes.  After all, love is not a feeling. So this post by Jenn Rehmann encouraged me to "embrace the adventure and not struggle against it." Here's an excerpt....

My girls attended a co-op preschool group.  It was very orderly, very proper…and the boys were always in trouble.  This did not overly trouble me at the time, my girls managed to sit still.  But one day I realized- that no, this would not do.

I remember a trip to the grocery store, my girls obediently holding the cart as expected: my boy, vibrating in his seat/touching everything/making noise non-stop/talking non-stop.

I had an epiphany in the grocery store:

my boy was not disobedient, he was all boy, he was made of different temperament-a different mind, than my girls and I.

I had an epiphany that day, and chose to embrace the adventure instead of struggle against it.

This I know: Lessons bore him if too long, writing is torture.  Games with an edge of danger are better, mud, dirt and bugs are glorious, and anything can be a weapon.  Spiders and bugs are not bad, but are a mystery to be explore.  Injustice hurts mightily, boy tears are big, fat, hot and wet.  Boy arms around my neck are alarmingly strong, but missed when not applied as often.  Boy work is messy and smelly, but a freshly scrubbed boy in clean p.j.s is a gift from above.  He thinks I am beautiful and important, but often doesn’t hear my directions. His feelings are easily hurt, but he can infuriate me in 2 seconds.  Boy jokes are silly and I don’t get them.  Hockey must be the smelliest sport ever. 

I defer to my husband’s knowledge of all things boy.  But frankly, being home with my boy all day leaves me on the front-line of interesting situations: situations where I have to think on my feet, quickly- without the luxury of consulting his dad for the logic or attitude I should pursue.  Instead of over-thinking it during the day (of which I admit I do a lot of at day’s end when I should be sleeping…) I find myself  turning to this verse to guide my reactions, instructions and admonishments:

“But He has shown thee, oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee:  But to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.”Micah 6:8