We've had some lessons in telling the truth for a certain 2 year old who began telling this little (cute) lie lately: "Daddy told me." It would usually play out when asking for a snack. He'd say, "Can I have fruit snacks?" And if I answered
no, he would say with a nod and a convincing look in his eyes, "Daddy told me!" As in, Daddy told me I could have one.
It didn't take long for me to figure out that Daddy, who had been working downstairs all day, did not in fact tell him he could have fruit snacks. I was shocked the first time as I realized my sweet little 2 year old just lied to me! It was kind of cute but it was still a lie.
As I explained to him how important it is to always tell Mommy the truth, I realized how abstract of a concept "truth" is to a 2 year old. But after several conversations and trips downstairs to clarify with Daddy that he indeed did not tell Mr. Newton he could have a snack, I think the little guy started to catch on.
When he would say
Daddy told me, I would look at him in the eyes and say, "Did Daddy really tell you?" And he would look at me with those big brown eyes with a half smile on his face and do the half nod, half head shake, going back and forth between yes and no because he thought saying yes would give him a better chance at those fruit snacks but no was probably the right thing to say. When he told the truth, I praised him like crazy so he could see that obedience brings joy and blessing. When he lied, I would explain again about the importance of telling the truth.
So we kept working on it and now here are our conversations....
Mr. Newton: Mommy, I tell you the truth!
Me: Good! What do you want to tell me?
Mr. Newton: I have fruit snacks?
Me: No, not right now. We are about to have dinner.
Then Mr. Newton breaks down crying because he really wants fruit snacks.
I think he thought that telling the truth always gets you what you want and was disappointed to find out that that is not always the case! So now we are working on teaching him to trust us when we say no with my all time favorite line: Okay, Mommy, I trust you.
Today he was sitting on the couch looking at a book and looked up and said, "I trust you Mommy!" Yay! That was a little gift. I know we have a long way to go in the process, but there have definitely been little steps of progress.
By the way, I realized through all of this that I can't remember Mr. Mister ever going through a lying phase. He's been through almost every other phase possible (biting, hitting, spitting, you name it) but I don't think he even knows how to lie. Like today when I went upstairs to put Miss S down for her nap and came down to Mr. Newton crying. I asked Mr. Mister why his brother was crying and he told me exactly what he had done to him down to every last detail. While kind of humorous when he is telling me how he hurt his brother, I know this is a very good trait that will be so beneficial down the road!
